open source catan

after a day of 90+ degree heat, shimmering heat waves rising from long-dead grass at lakewood dgc we pulled into zayda buddies for refueling. stroh's, schlitz (both in new cans despite our 23 year old server's (obviously wisened) rebuttal) and some pizza were had. some were schlitz-faced afterwards. the white knight, sans tie, joined us and a quad-man-tan was called and confirmed. off to the red baron's condosienda.

i set the board up in an obviously contrived manner with 4 triple commodity hexes. then sort of undid that by giving each 2 strong numbers and a weak number. 2 golds were only 1 sea away from each other, a 4 and a 6: ripe for development.

i took the only good brick spot and thought i was pretty keen when i combined that with a full set of complementary hexes. it was only after the first roll that i realized that all my numbers were dupes. schlitz!

after the break i decided that green was pretty much a lock for victory given his central placement and capitalization of the 6 gold. in a stroh-ke of comedic genius i laid all of my cards face up on the table and declared the birth of 'open source catan'. there were several after-jokes and silly analogs to be drawn and we pretty much nailed all the good ones. totally unrelated but equally funny red beard pulled a bag of frozen peas out of the freezer to pass around. each of us got to wear the crown of mini green balls for a while to cool out and sober up to the fact that it was obviously over.

i was on cruise control headed towards third place. but then, a duct! and a knobber on green's gold belt and lo, 8's started piling up like fat on a hog and so did the progress cards. paper metropolis - bam! oh, what? i have 2 DoCVPs from early on?! that's 10 veeps - schlitz malt giggles - stay cool, where are the peas?!?!1!

open source catan servers went offline due to lack of donations. cards came back up into hand. one more round was all i needed because i had the merch, the diplodorcus and chode building, read: 3 points.

snottily, i declared i didn't even need to roll to win - it was all academic with mac mcgarry. cards dropped, jaws were agape, arms akimbo, hope left the building to self-immolate. later bizznipps i gotta go to a tubbie! not bad for a monday night.

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